AS and AS
A S interviews A S
S: 'He, aren't you A. S, the column writer? Join us man. Are you ok? Coffee?
It is time for an interview.'
S: 'Yes I am AS but.. Do you want another interview? I was in the press so often recently.' Isn't it a bit too much?
S: 'If I find I need more attention in the media no one can stop me.'
A S: 'How come you want to interview yourself? No normal man does such a thing.'
A S: 'First of all I did not say I am a normal man and secondly if I find that the time has come that I deserve attention I will get it. It is as simple as that. You can compare this with other losers. In order to be in the spot lights they confess on bended knees on television what they are sorry for.'
A S: 'When did you have your latest report in the press?'
A S: 'February 10th or so?'
A S: 'That is a week ago only!'
A S: 'Right. So hurry up and start interviewing me right now.'
A S: 'Ok. Here we go. What do Germans find about your articles?'
A S: 'Eeuhhh, hhhmm. Next question please. '
A S: 'What can I ask you that people haven't already asked you 100s of times?'
A S: 'I just came back from Germany. You may ask me why I went to Germany.'
A S: (sighs deeply). 'Why did you go to Germany?'
A S: 'I had to give a lecture about our sport and I told them clearly what an ambassador for pigeon sport is.'
A S: 'And what IS an ambassador for pigeon sport?'
A S: 'Somebody like me.'
A S: 'Hmm. Isn't it hard to write an article about pigeons every week?'
A S: 'Pea nuts. All you need is a computer, a wife who takes care of you and a publisher that pays you.'
A S: 'What else did you tell those Germans?'
A S: 'I told them how stupid they are, since they do not buy good birds but paper tigers.'
A S: 'Did they accept that? Didn't they try to stop you insulting them?'
A S: 'When I am speaking no one is able to get that microphone out of my hand.
Once I said how stupid and how unfair the rules are for National championships inHolland. In one area are 15 Middle Distance races, in another areas 6 only.
Is that fair? It is crazy!'
A S: 'Is that the reason that you never send in results for National Championships?'
A S: 'Right and smart! In 2000 I had the 2nd best pigeon of Holland. The 1st best was raced in the same competition while my bird beat that bird in every race. Still it got more points than mine, but it is too complicated a story to explain.'
A S: 'Are you always as cynical and critical as you are now?'
A S: 'Only when I am in a bad mood and now I am in a real bad mood.'
A S: 'How come?'
A S: 'It is all because of that visit to Germany. People do not only buy the wrong pigeons for too much money. When I saw all that crap that they buy to perform I felt like vomiting.'
A S: The manufacturers of those products will not be happy when they read this.'
A S: 'So what? I want to warn people for people that warn people that they will never be a champion if they do not buy the products they sell.'
My advice is not to trust those dealers in castles in the air.
They have products for a better moult, products for better breeding, products that prevent stress, products to deal with Coli and so on and so on. They are thieves that try to rob simple people from their money. Pigeons do not need all that.
A S: 'Understand. Other subject. Are champions in pigeon sport admired?'
A S: 'Admired? Admired? In this sport no one admires no one. If you compete the fellow sportsmen for a whole season you cannot expect them to organise a party for the man who became champion by beating them week after week.
You can compare this with a criminal that is caught by the police. Does he organise a party to celebrate the good job the police man did?'
A S: 'Do people often ask you what people often ask you?'
A S: 'I do get such questions indeed.'
A S: 'And what do people often ask you?'
A S: 'They ask me if I am serious when I write that breeding good birds is mainly a matter of luck and if I am serious when I write I believe in free mating.'
A S: 'Are you serious then?'
A S: 'Very serious. Take Dirk van Dijck. He built up his family with birds from Leysen, Marien Royberghs, van Looy, Bellens, van Beirendonk, Adriaensen and Hoylaerts. Are those big names?
No, they are not.
Were those expensive birds?
No, they were not.
Christiaens always says: You must not BUY pigeons for much money but SELL for much money.
Good luck is very important indeed. Take his 'Kannibaal'.
Dirk lost a red cock from a short distance race.
'Fuck' he thought, now I have a hen for which I have no cock. He had no other choice than to try and find a cock for that hen. He found one and' this pair produced the Kannibaal, the National Ace in 2006.
Kannibaal would never have been born if van Dijck was not so 'unlucky' as to lose that red cock.'
A S: 'Who would YOU like to interview Mr A S?'
A S: 'A pigeon.'
A S: 'A pigeon?'
A S: 'Yes a pigeon. I would like to hear what is going on after the release. Do they communicate on their way home? Is there a leader who says 'let's go right or left. Isn't it a difficult moment for a bird to leave his mates when it nears its loft? Does it say good bye? I would like to know how pigeons feel when they are in the basket on their way to the release station. Do they communicate?
And will pigeons feel humiliated on a show with so many humans gaping at them?
A S foto M Ku
A S: 'People say that you mislead fellow sportsmen with your articles. You have secrets that you only tell to good friends.
A S: 'People always talk and talk negative about others is what many love.
A S: 'Honestly speaking I have my doubts.'
A S: 'Why?'
A S: I still remember the first time I visited you.
An old ugly nun with a groaning voice answered the bell. For a moment I thought I was at the wrong address, but I was wrong.
The nun took off her clothes and who was the person who stood there some seconds before? A. S.
And you A S, could not stop laughing.
Sit down you said, I will get you a coffee.
You went into the kitchen and who came out of it?
A breath taking young beautiful girl. Slender body, tight boobs, erotic voice.
'Hi' the sexy girl said to A S. 'How handsome you are' she panted.
'I can't complain' I said, adding, 'and I am easy going with sexy girls, what is your name honey?'
'A S' the girl cried out and she, so that was you, took off that wig.
'Impressive' I said.
'Peanuts' you reacted.
You ran away and a joyful yelping puppy got in some moments later. He made a double somersault on the table and the puppy, so you Mr A S, said: 'that is another piece of cake he?'
I was too shocked to react and stared at the spider on the ceiling.
'Not you again?' I moaned.
'Yes me, A S' you said.
Completely shattered I went home.
My wife was waiting for me.
'Are you finally there?' she snapped.
'A S. Leave me alone' I begged. I got my belt off my jeans and rammed that person out of my house.'
For people that get tired of all those photos
from A S. It may improve their mood